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He who is not taught by his mother is taught by the world

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Updated 5mo ago
by
Brighid McCarthy
View this proverb in Swahili
Asiyefunzwa na mamaye hufunzwa na ulimwengu

Question: Have you learned more from you parents or from your experiences in the world? 


Today's proverb is often used in Swahili to describe a person who makes a mistake that could have been foreseen and suffers negative consequences... like the truck driver in this picture from Oxfordshire, UK. Regardless of what your parents taught you (or failed to teach you), you will eventually have to confront the harsh realities of life and learn from experience.
See also: If a child cries for a razor, give it to him (Mtoto akilia wembe, mpe)

He who is not taught by his parents is taught by the world. (Asofunzwa na wazazi, hufunzwa na ulimwengu)
Here's a poem by the poet Akilimali Snow-White about this proverb. (My translation from the original Swahili)

In the age they fooled me, my old folks in raising me,
I failed to learn the new movements of the world.
Today I please myself, to the people of the world, listen:
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the world.

I couldn’t have done any work without humbling myself before them,
Obeying to flatter them, then to serve them,
Even when I pleased them, they taught me with intention,
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the world.

Now I can speak European languages without difficulty,
like English and others too,
With effort I learn, and even they have raised me.
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the world.

I can converse without blemish,
And lead amidst evil, removing the blemish,
In the end the place pleases, one step towards harmony,
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the world.

There is nowhere I have overlooked, without investigation,
All sides examined, knowledge I have taken,
I even know how to sell products and buy,
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the world.

The amount which I have learned, not a little by fumbling,
I am pleasing where I come from, I employ good work
It’s hard to scorn, how it raises me,
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the world.

It’s not right to ignore what you don’t know
Try to investigate, and then analyze,
When your intention is tightened, you can’t fail to know a thing,
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the world.

The tasks I taught myself, my father didn’t know
He didn’t know English, or selling and buying,
but only praising oneself, that was when I, the child, knew,
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the world. 

I give more for you, you all who helped me,
All of you who’ve taught me, Lord give you health
God fill you all with happiness, and return goodness to you,
He who is not taught by his parents, is taught by the people of the world.
- Diwani ya Akilimali

What do you think about this poem? What does it mean? Can you improve the translation?

Fikeni E. M. K. Senkoro (1988) wrote of this poem (my translation):
[A] person can't experience everything in life from their parents: they must be ready to be taught by the world-- that is to learn from others beyond their father and mother.

Sources
The illustration shows a real accident in Oxfordshire, England - BBC article (image from social media)

Poem from Diwani ya Akilimali

Quote at the end from "Ushairi - Nadharia na Tahakiki" by F.E.M.K. Senkoro, Chapter 7 (Dar Es Salaam University Press, 1988, ISBN 9976 60 0224)
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Other proverbs
What you don't know is like the darkness of night
 
by Ibrahim Nyanda
🏆 Proverb Essay Contest
"Why is it that our village is not developed compared to other villages around us? Many young people our age from other villages have studied, and some have found their meaningful jobs in the city. Although there's a school in our village, we young people aren't doing well in school. When teachers are hired, they don’t stay long, they leave. What is there here in Bombambili?” These were the questions that the young man Akilimali asked his friend Manase while they were grazing the cattle. 

After this question, Manese seemed immersed in a great wave of thoughts ,and after considering for a while, he turned to his friend, looked at him deeply and asked him, “Do you believe in witchcraft?” Akilimali answered by nodding his head in agreement and said, “I believe, because I’ve often seen people going to witch doctors, and when they go through difficulties, they believe they've been bewitched. Don’t you remember the other day when we were told that Granny Andunje was found on the roof of old man Masanja stark naked, practicing witchcraft at night. So after that, how can I not believe, my friend?”

Manase looked at Akilimali carefully and then said to him “I want to tell you a secret that you won’t believe... Do you know your mother and your sister are witches?” Akilimali remained dumbfounded like a lizard caught in a door, and then, swelling with anger, he told Manase “Woah, hey kid, don’t start bringing me this nonsense, you stop calling my mom a witch or I’ll show you something you won’t believe with your eyes, ohoooo!!” 

Manase calmed his friend Akilimali, then told him “Wait for me to return the cows to the neighbor, then I’ll tell you the whole story. I know you’ll understand, you just chill out. “

As soon as he has returned the livestock, Manase began telling Akilimali, “My friend, I want to tell you a secret that I’ve kept for a long time. Everything you see here -- even the lack of development in the village -- it’s because of witchcraft. Every day I see your mom and your sister riding a hyaena. They pass by my mom's house, going to bewitch people...”  Manase paused a little, then continued

"You can’t believe it-- even I didn’t believe it until I was anointed with a special potion and saw them. I’ll give you this potion tonight. Apply it in your eyes and you’ll give me an answer tomorrow.”


After dinner, Akilimali was warming himself by the fire with his dad, outside their mud house thatched with grass, while his mom and sister were inside. He applied the potion as directed... and after ten minutes he saw his sister and his mom riding the hyena like a motorcycle, ready to embark on their voyage to bewitch people!


“Forgive me my friend, it was just anger.” Akilimali spoke these words choking back tears. 

“I knew it. Now you see our village is not developing and even your own mom and sister are involved. Every villager who wants to bring development ends up dead. One day they'll end up like Granny Andunje."

“I’m sure even your dad doesn’t know that your mom and sister are witches, and every day they go out to bewitch people and leave you two a magic trick to make you think they’re around. Go put that potion in your dad's eyes, then you’ll give me an answer” explained Manase. 


That evening, secretly, Akilimali explained to his dad that his sister and his mom were witches, a thing which his dad vehemently denied. 

“Mom, today Dad is watching us; look how he is staring at us,” Akilimali’s sister told their mom, riding the hyena as before, as their dad and brother were outside warming themselves as they usually did.

“I don’t think he sees us; turn the hyena so it looks like we’re heading towards them,” Akilimali’s mom said.

Akilimali says that was the last day he saw his father, because after seeing the hyena carrying his wife and daughter, he bolted like he was running the hundred-meter dash. Indeed, what you don’t know is like the darkness of the night, Akilimali was left in disbelief that all this time he lived with his mom and sister not knowing they were witches.
...
Updated 5mo ago
by
Brighid McCarthy
The grass is always greener on the other side
This proverb refers to the tendency to imagine or dwell on the notion that other people have nicer things...like your neighbor having a nicer lawn. 

The original source of this proverb is Ovid's "Art of Love", a book of advice for men and women about finding and keeping romantic relationships, written over 2000 years ago, about 2 AD:
People don't resist the temptation of new delights. We always deem that other people are more fortunate than ourselves. The crop is always better in our neighbour's field; his cows more rich in milk.
- Ovid The Art of Love, Page 24

One lesson from this proverb is to focus more on what you have, ignoring what others may have that is better. Another lesson might be to put your attention on improving your own situation (like watering your lawn) rather than dwelling on the fact that your lawn (or situation in general) is inferior.

An interesting variation on this proverb is: "The grass is always greener where you water."

Similar proverbs from other cultures:

Hindi:
दूर के ढोल सुहावने लगते हैं
From far away the drums sound better
Chinese:
隔籬飯香
Next door's rice smells good 
Japanese:
隣の芝生は青く見える
The neighbor's grass seems green 
Russian:
соседняя очередь всегда движется быстрее
The other queue always moves faster 



...
Updated 5mo ago
by
Brighid McCarthy
2
It takes two to tango
This proverb means that there are some things you can't do alone. The tango is dance for two people, so you can't dance the tango alone.

The proverb comes from a 1952 song It Takes Two to Tango:
You can sail in a ship by yourself,
Take a nap or a nip by yourself.
You can get into debt on your own.
There are lots of things that you can do alone.
But it takes two to tango, two to tango...
- It Takes Two to Tango (1952, Al Hoffman, Dick Manning and Pearl Bailey) - Check out the sources to listen to the original recording!

This proverb has many different meanings that you can apply in your daily life and relationships.  There are lots of things in life that require more than one person: It takes two people to cooperate, to make a bargain or to engage in a fight. You may really want to dance with someone, but if they don't want to dance with you, it's better to move on.  Similarly, if you're in a fight, consider how your own behavior might be contributing to continuing the fight. A dance isn't about being perfect, it's about being in time with your partner and enjoying the experience. 

Similar proverbs from Africa:
Egyptian (Arabic):
ايد لوحدها ماتسقفش‎
One hand can't clap

Swahili:
Bila mtu wa pili ugomvi hauanzi
Without a second person a quarrel cannot start

Kidole kimoja hakiuwi chawa
One finger doesn't kill a louse

...
Updated 5mo ago
by
Brighid McCarthy
Kuuliza si Ujinga
Watu wengi wanaogopa kuuliza maswali kwa sababu wanahofia kuonwa mjinga. Lakini kuuliza maswali ni njia bora ya kujifunza kutoka kwa wengine. 

Pia kuuliza maswali husaidia wenzako. Je umewahi kusita kuuliza swali kwani ulidhani wengine wameshaelewa... lakini baadaye uligundua hawakuelewa pia? 

Kiingereza
There's no such thing as a stupid question
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Updated 5mo ago
by
Brighid McCarthy